Sorry for all my bait-and-switch posts over the past, like, year. All year I’ve been talking up how amusing some of my encounters have been and how I’d be posting about them, aaaand now we are over halfway through 2017 and still nothing. I promise you the drafts are there and close to being done. But for one final tease – and because I’ve had this basically finished for months (no joke) – here is my annual (see 2014 and 2015) “Random Reflections” post.
1) Not having the ability to have feelings towards people leads to way more one night stands than prolonged hookups.
I kinda slept with a ton of people in 2016. I’m completely fine with that, but considering the volume, I would have expected to have a lot more good sex. Now, in the defense of everyone, sometimes it takes more than just one go at it to have it be more mind-blowing. But, um. Do you know me? Right, I don’t have the willpower to continue anything with people I’m not into. If I’m actually into the person, then I’m way more willing to continue to hop in bed with him even if the first few attempts were less than satisfactory. But again, do you know me? I rarely like people, so this scenario very rarely plays out.
Take the flip side, though: if I’m not into someone but he was attractive enough that I slept with him and he rocked my body that first time, then, well, I won’t put up much of a fight to doing it again. I just will make it very clear it’s nothing more than a hookup because I will refuse to meet him anywhere except an apartment with a bed. If I’m just in it for the sex, then I don’t need to have drinks and try to force conversation with the guy; it’ll only ruin the mood for me. He just needs to tear my clothes off and keep doing his thing and that scenario will have me seeing him for more than a one night stand.
2) If you’re going to have one night stands, then might as well make the story good.
The best way to make a one night stand into a “good” story to tell later is for it to be just completely mind blowing sex. But lol. Rarely does that happen. Therefore, might as well make the story of what happened interesting, right?
I didn’t go into any of my one nighters with the expectation that they would be as, er, storytelling-worthy, but I definitely came out of 2016 with a hearty handful of them. I’ve mentioned a few of these as “posts to come” here, but looking back at my list of the year (yes, I have a list, whatever), there were quite a few interesting/unexplainable/bizarre/hot hookups that sadly may never make it to this blog for the sake of time and explicit content. Eh, there were also some that were just bad/mediocre and nothing else interesting about them, but I’d assume that’s to be expected.
3) Apparently I’m not picky about probably the only things I really should be picky about.
I just talked about how I had a lot of one nighters. Well, throughout pretty much the entire year, there was also one consistent guy. No, it wasn’t No Strings Attached guy – I actually only got with him one time in 2016; it was someone I haven’t made any mention of yet. I’m not going to get into the specifics of who it was for several reasons (who knows, maybe someday I’ll spill more beans about it), but my feelings were involved very early on.
Yep. And in the years since my last relationship (holy shit, it’s already been 6 full years?!), I can definitely say this is the most I’ve liked a guy since then.
Granted, the only two other guys who have pulled real feelings from me have been a guy who ditched me for someone else after just two months (update: they are getting married #goodluckchuck) and the guy from right after college who reappeared for a hot second two years later. So like, not much to compare this guy to. But there were real feelings involved, butterflies, insane attraction, you name it.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, “If Picky hooked up with him all year, then everything must have been practically perfect.” Yeah, you’d think so, right?! As far as looks go, he definitely meets my picky criteria. Personality-wise, I’m really close with him, he’s absolutely awesome, and I never get sick of hanging out with him. And the sex: obviously that’s been good, otherwise this over a year and a half long hooking up thing probably wouldn’t continue to be going on nearly as long.
So… what else should I have been picky about? I mean, over the last 6 years, those have really been the only areas on which I’ve gotten far enough along to lay any judgement. Ha. Well. Apparently I let the most important things go by the wayside, such as how he treats me and whether or not he wants the same things with me as I want with him. You know, like the most basic pieces of a relationship.
The thing is, he doesn’t treat me badly at all; he just doesn’t treat me with any romantic affection, especially with others around. And that’s because he doesn’t want a relationship with me (or anyone, he claims).
I know, I know. You don’t need to tell me. Why in the world have I been sticking around with someone for so long who doesn’t match up with those most critical things?! I’d say I don’t know, but I do. For one, I’ve never been friends with someone before getting hookups or feelings involved. It definitely throws a wrench into the machine. I don’t want to remove him from my life altogether because of the friends aspect, he meets all other seemingly impossible (albeit shallow) criteria, and we both are attracted to each other and enjoy hooking up with one another. This recipe has never been presented to me before ever. I’m not going to get into it too much right now (sorry), but it’s resulted in a repeating cycle of pure happiness, frustration, heartbreak, and excitement.
And around and around we go. Sounds super fun, huh? Blah. Well, we are still hooking up (just a few months shy of two years) so perhaps you’ll hear more about it as time goes on. It is 110% certain that a committed relationship won’t be happening, but as long as the happiness outweighs the negative feelings then I suppose I’ll keep staying the course.
Aaaaand that’s a wrap. Hope you all missed me. Cuz I’m back.