I took some time before going on another date after my first almost-successful Hinge experience, but eventually I gave this app another go and met up with someone new. I was not super excited to be meeting up with him, but I was at least intrigued – particularly because I had actually come across this guy on at least one other dating app and had been interested. He worked nearby, and so we met up at a newer bar in the area after work.
Problem #1: Juan Pablo Syndrome
Aside from hearing him talk an excessive amount about work (see problem #2), I spent most of the date listening about his lackluster hockey career, which had only just recently ended. Truthfully, I don’t have any issues with hockey players as people, but generally, it seems like too many of them hold onto the dream for too long before facing the reality that they won’t go pro and won’t be able to make a living out of playing the sport. So I listened to him tell me about each team he played for, each location he traveled to, every injury he once had, and every job he considered getting once he decided to move on from the sport. He was on such a roll that I didn’t even bother trying to get a word in. Like the typical sufferer of this JP Syndrome, he rarely asked me about my life. (Fortunately, we got appetizers, and so I was able to distract myself with food.)
Peoblem #2: Work Obsessed
The topic of work will almost always come up on a first date conversation. And understandably so, since such a huge amount of our time each week is spent at our jobs. However, there are few things more annoying than having to have the work conversation for a prolonged period of time. This is not only during first dates; I cannot stand it when coworkers, friends, or even family decide that the only thing they want to ask me about and tell me about is work. With the fellah I was on this date with, we happened to work in the same field: sales. Typically this can be a nice thing, since you both share that common ground. But in the case of this date, this similarity led to him preaching the do’s, don’ts, and how-to’s of sales. Honestly, I don’t care how amazing you are at sales…I will not want to talk about best practices for prospecting on a date – or any time after 5pm for that matter. What killed me, though, was that this guy wasn’t even a sales rockstar; he was a hockey player who only just recently found himself randomly landing a job that just happened to be in sales.
Problem #3: Bad Body Language
No matter how into or not into a guy I am, I always make a point to turn my body towards them, make eye contact (or at least occasionally, if sitting side-by-side at a bar), and act interested and engaged. When my date was slouched over with his elbows on the bar, resting his head in his hand, and not making any attempts to look my way, it seemed very obvious that he was not interested and ready to go. Hey, I was okay with that because quite honestly, the feelings were mutual. So when we finished at the first location, I was ready to go on my merry way. Alas, he practically insisted that we go to another location to continue the night. I said I had an early morning coming up, but I agreed. Location #2 we sat across from each other at a high top table, so now we were face-to-face. And you know what? His body language was the exact same. It was so bizarre because he looked just as disinterested in life as he spoke about himself as he did when I was able to get a few words in.
Once we headed out of the second location, we were unfortunately heading in the same direction. We passed his office – his OFFICE – and he asked me if I wanted to come upstairs with him to get something. Umm…no thanks. I made a beeline for the cab stand and despite his later request to go out again, I never saw him again.