The Attractive Pompous Douchebag

This next guy is pretty amusing.  I started talking to him through OKCupid at the beginning of March.  We originally made plans to meet up on a Wednesday at 8:30 at a local dive bar that I had never heard of before.  However, Wednesday morning I asked him if he would be okay with rescheduling for a day when he could meet up earlier because it was a long week and 8:30 would be cutting it with my bedtime (and I apologized for being such a grandma).  He said it was no problem, so we planned for the following Wednesday.

The following Wednesday rolls around, and he texts me: “How about 8:30 tonight at the same bar we planned for last week?”  Ummm… did you not get the memo about why we rescheduled for a week later?  Whatever, I wasn’t as tired that day, so I agreed to the plan.

Problem #1: Inconvenience

So first of all, there was no convenient means of getting to this bar via public transportation, and the routes that were available would have taken roughly an hour for me to get to this little dive bar.  So I called an Uber, and the total round trip ended up being about $30.  That price is not too horrible, but considering how much money I dropped that night (I’ll get to that), it was a bit much for a first date (but in his defense, I could have requested that we meet somewhere else…and I probably don’t get sympathy points from any guys since they usually end up footing the entire bill on EVERY first date).  Anyways, he had texted me shortly after 8:00 saying he was going to be a little late, and so I didn’t feel too bad arriving a few minutes late as well.  I walk in, and this bar is TINY.  There was also a live band, and so it was VERY loud.  Although I wasn’t entirely sure what he looked like (see Problem #2), I knew he had not entered the bar yet.  How did I know for sure?  Well, because every single solitary human being in this bar was over the age of 40.  I thought I was being punk’d.  I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer on my tab.  5 minutes later, 10 minutes later, 15 minutes later, and still no sign of him and still no text.  After waiting 20 minutes and almost finishing my beer, I was ready to just leave…but then he showed up.  No apology for being late; he just said he had to take the trash out (even though he has 4 other roommates who could have done it instead).  Cool, I’m glad to know that I fall below trash on your list of priorities.

pointless waiting for you

Problem #2: Kinda Catfish

Like I mentioned, I wasn’t entirely sure what he looked like because some pictures showed him with light buzzed hair and others showed him with a bit longer brown hair.  Going into the night, I was fine with either option (turns out he was the light buzzed hair version of himself).  But once he Facebook friended me the next day, I realized that his brown haired photos dated all the way back to 2006.  I get it if you use a photo from 1, 2, or even 3 years ago, but nobody should be portraying themselves to be the person they were 8 years ago.  It’s just deceiving and annoying.

how old were you

Problem #3: Pompous

Even before meeting, I had a feeling that this guy was super pompous just from a number of things he said in his profile.  Turns out it was a great reflection of what he is like in person.  Never have I ever met someone (I’m talking anyone – not just people I’ve met on dates) who thinks they are so far above everyone else.  I’ll just list out a few specific things that made me want to punch him in the face:

1) He refused to tell me his name.
Yep. Going into the date, I did not know his name because he refused to tell me.  When he continued to refuse to tell me at the bar, I called him out for being super sketchy.  He responded by saying that trivial questions like that would provide no important information to help me better understand who he is as a person.

2) He is just way too good for anything mainstream.
Why were we at a tiny bar full of 40-year-olds?  Because he is above going to the popular bars.  Why does he have a dumb phone?  Because the iPhone is unnecessary and he is oh so resourceful without needing the pointless extra technology.

3) He questioned basically every single thing I would say.
Basically any time I would say something, he would squint his eyes, zero in on me, and rub his chin with his thumb and index finger as if deep in thought.  Then he would say, “I wonder why you would say that.”  Honestly, I can’t remember specifically what things I would say that warranted that response, but I do know that he did this at least half a dozen times throughout the date.

chin thinking

Problem #4: First Date Check

After we finished our third beers, I decided it was time to go.  So I ordered an Uber and told my date that I was going to close out my tab.  He didn’t offer to cover it for me, but at that point I was so bothered by him that I didn’t even care.  We hugged goodbye, and I hopped in the Uber.  A few minutes later, he texted me asking if I paid for his drinks.  No wonder the check was $50!  I guess the bartender must have just put his drinks on my tab.  Easy mistake, and I suppose I can’t blame that on my date.  What pissed me off though was the fact that he never once said thank you.  Not over text.  Not in person.  Never.

really

Hahaha sooooo… you would think that I would never want to see this guy again, right?  Well, I definitely wanted to punch him in the face, but I also wanted to make out with him.  WTF?!  Yeah, it makes absolutely no sense.  But being picky, it’s pretty rare when I meet someone who I am actually very attracted to.  Sucked that his personality was so incompatible with mine, buuuuuut I was open to a second meet up just for the purpose of making out with him (but not more than that…he wasn’t THAT attractive).

that makes no sense

So stay tuned.  It only gets better from here.

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