Near the end of April, I connected with a guy on OKCupid, and he was the last person I met up with during the first half of 2014. Actually, at the time of me writing this post, he remains to be the last person I went on an online date with.
On paper, this guy was phenomenal, and I was thinking it would be a match made in heaven. He was attractive, smart, athletic, and seemed to not take himself way too seriously. When he recommended that we watch the sunset as part of our date, I thought it was a bit bizarre but appreciated that it was a nice change from the typical drinks-at-a-bar scene. But of course, it rained… so that’s exactly what we ended up doing anyways.
I will be honest, I can’t really attach any problems to this guy. While I found myself less attracted to him than I anticipated I’d be, it wasn’t because he looked different than his profile photos. He was really smart and also semi-interesting. He asked me about myself. He paid for the drinks. No red flags here.
So… why was the date so awkward? I truly can’t put my finger on it. We just really didn’t seem to mesh well. Perhaps it was because we didn’t have a TON in common. Perhaps it was because we were mutually just not super into each other. Perhaps it was a number of things. However, I’ve had plenty of dates where these factors were in play, and I managed to take control of the date and the conversation to make it a first date worthy of me being asked out for a second date (which, in those cases, I would decline).
So what was it? What happened, and why couldn’t I manage to pull out my first date charm? I’m convinced that a significant factor was that I was just over dating at that point. It was getting exhausting and not something I wanted to do anymore. It was clear to me early on that I didn’t see things with this guy panning out, and in a way, I checked out. Pair that with the fact that I don’t think he saw things working out with me either, and it resulted in a very blahhh kind of date.
Unsurprisingly, neither of us reached out to each other after we parted. I then swore off dating for a while. I deleted my dating apps and dropped off the face of the online dating world. I had even been texting another OKCupid guy at the time, and I just stopped responding. I was so over it, and I ended up taking a nice break from dating strangers.