From Dating to Hooking Up & Everything In Between

As you know, I took a hiatus from dating once winter ended earlier this year.  I didn’t get back into the game until late June when I went out with a guy that, surprisingly, I didn’t meet online.  I had actually known him from about 2+ years before.  In fact, he was the first person I went out with after I broke up with my last boyfriend.  So before I dive into my second time around with this guy, I should probably give some background on what happened way back yonder. Here is part 1 of 2.

Remember When People Still Met in Person?

I honestly think this may be the last time I met someone in person who I was interested in and that actually turned into something more than one date.  It hadn’t been more than half a year since I had graduated college, so I still had a high tolerance for beer…which is why I was back in line once more for another drink.  I got mine, moved out of the way of the stampede of empty-handed beer-seekers, and found myself next to this veryyyy good looking guy.  As I tried to think of something witty to say to him, he beat me to it and we started chatting.  Before going our separate ways, he approached me with his BUSINESS CARD and told me he’d like to see me again.  I didn’t really think of making him take my number so HE could call ME, but I was so pumped that I didn’t care.

call me maybe

From the Dating Phase to the Attempted Hang Out Phase

I ended up emailing him (yes, that’s correct – but it worked), and after that we started going on dates.  And they were legit dates as I had imagined them to be outside of the college dating scene: he picked me up most times (or just met at the bar), had drinks, and even got dinner each time which is rather unheard of these days in the very initial stages.

Eventually I noticed that he was not really asking to take me out anymore; rather, he wanted me to come to his place or meet up while we were out during the weekend.  I had no issues with the ladder, so I had him and his friends meet me and my friends out.  He showed up SO drunk, was barely able to walk, and basically just tried to get me to his place the entire time.  Hey, I’m not saying I hated the persistence and how can I judge the guy for being drunk? I can’t. But I will say that this didn’t leave a great first impression with my friends.  After that, the next few times he reached out to me were blatant attempts to get me to just come over to his place and hook up.  By this time, it was around January 2012, and as attracted to him as I was, I didn’t want to sleep with him yet… so I just completely stopped responding to his late night texts.

ignore you

From the Nonexistent Phase to Attempted Dating Phase

April of that year rolled around, and we hadn’t spoken once since shortly after New Years.  Well, it turned out that we were going to the same Tough Mudder event that year, which led to him reaching out to me.  Win! I was still crazy attracted to him and wasted little time to take him up on his offer for drinks after work.  I expected it to be something like a date, but ohhh no, it was not a date.  The day of (and by day of, I’m talking like 3 minutes before we were supposed to meet up and I was already en route to the bar) he pushed back the time he was able to meet me out because he was at a work function that was going late. I went and grabbed a snack somewhere and then headed back towards the bar. Then he texted me again saying he was still running late but would be there soon. Ok, whatever, I’ll just hang out at the bar and get my drink on in the meantime. It was pretty packed because a game was on, so there weren’t any open seats at the bar. Two drinks later (yeah, not sure why I waited around so long), he showed up. His work function was clearly a drinking function, because he showed up VERY drunk.  Not only that, but he almost immediately made a comment about how he was hoping I’d be wearing something a little tighter and form-fitting.  Really?! He kept putting his hands all over me throughout the night which part of me wasn’t opposed to because he was still great looking but it was just too much. I put an end to the night and we went our separate ways.  After that, he was reaching out to me during normal daytime hours.  He would propose something, then cancel.  I’d propose something, and it wouldn’t work out.  In short, we never really went out on dates but we kept talking like it was something we both wanted to come around to…eventually. Maybe.

see you another time

From Attempted Dating Phase to Actual Hang Out Phase

It had become clear to me that this guy wasn’t exactly my Prince Charming, especially when those daytime texts evolved once again into attempted “let’s hook up” texts.  So summer 2012 rolled around, and after an aggressive day drinking event, I went with my friends back to their place… which was conveniently close to this guy’s apartment.  It had been a while since I’d had any sex at all, so I called him up, said I was coming over, and you can guess what happened from there. This pretty much went on the entire summer, but it was far from being a consistent thing.  I’d hear from him here and there, sometimes every few days, other times it would be almost two weeks.  When we would hang out, it almost always started by me coming over to his place, hooking up, and then we would get dinner or just make something at his apartment.  It was very much like the hang outs I had with the Hinge guy I liked in October 2013.  The difference is that I was well aware that we were only hooking up and that this was not progressing anywhere towards a potential relationship. I tried convincing myself that I was just a super chill chick who could deal with that… buuuut at the same time it’s not like I wouldn’t have entertained the idea if he seemed to actually want more…

be my boyfriend maybe

So how did this end and why would I decide to give him another try a few months ago?  Stay tuned


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