2014 has come and gone, but I still have a few last blasts from the not-so-distant past that I have yet to update you on. Here are the first two (out of three), which were both mediocre at best… so don’t expect to be blown away by this post.
Date: Scruffy Vanilla
Dating Problems: Dull and Bad Body Language
We connected via OKC and met up in early November. The most interesting fact (in his mind) that he had to share was that he was from the town that has some big jack-o-lantern festival. YOU’RE FROM HALLOWEENTOWN? Sadly, no, because that would have infinitely increased his level of intrigue.
Anyways, he was genuinely shocked that I had no idea what town he was referring to or what Halloween tradition he was talking about. Whatever. But later he did drop the fun fact that most of Jumanji was filmed in his hometown. Not sure how he let that go under the radar since that tidbit of information was actually the most interesting thing I remember from the date. I was hoping he had been an extra in it, but unfortunately he wasn’t that cool. Other than those hometown facts, there really wasn’t much that he talked about that was very interesting at all – and trust me, he talked A LOT. Had he not eventually wised up and finally asked me about myself, he definitely would’ve gotten the Juan Pablo Syndrome label. And it didn’t help that his body language was horrendous and had me thinking he wasn’t into me for most of the date. I know it can be tough to turn your body slightly towards your date while sitting side-by-side at a bar… but, wait, no, it’s actually not that hard at all. His shoulders were facing squarely forward and he rarely made eye contact with me. When he asked me out again, I considered it but eventually passed because despite his well-tamed scruffy facial hair, I
couldn’t justify didn’t want to take time to see him again.
Date: The Unimpressed Comedian
Dating Problems: Girl-ish Tendencies (previously referred to as Male-on-Male Tendencies) and Judge Judy
The day after Scruffy Vanilla, I met up with this guy who had messaged me on OKC asking me to a comedy show right off the bat. He wasn’t exactly my type looks-wise but his profile was hilarious since he himself was a bit of a comedian. It was an offer that was hard to refuse. Now, with the first dating problem I listed, I really need to rename the “male-on-male tendencies” problem because this guy didn’t actually portray any tendencies like my very first Tinder date who I actually did think might be into men (which, for the record, I’m totally cool with – I just don’t want to date you if that’s the case). The comedian just had a very girly-ish voice, which when compared to my raspier Emma Stone-like voice, it was questionable whose was deeper. That aside, he was very much into it females. In fact, he self-admittedly had been on a ton of dates with girls he met online which ended up being an interesting conversation topic. Ladies, apparently a lot of you are setting dates with guys and then not showing up. I’m not talking last minute cancellations; he said on multiple occasions he and several of his friends have been straight up stood up by girls they met online. Come on, gals. We’re better than that. At least text them and say you can’t miss the rerun of the SVU episode that you’ve already seen twice.
Anyways, he took me to the comedy show which was hilarious. However, he ended up hating on the opening act throughout the entire time he was on stage. I get that he’s super into comedy and maybe knows “good” from “bad,” but I was cracking up from start to finish and his negative comments were getting annoying. Plus, even though he was making the comments privately to me, I got really uncomfortable because he was not being quiet about his opinions at all.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t a bad date. There was no second one even though he did ask me out again. To be honest, it was the girly voice that was the main reason I didn’t see him again. I just don’t think I could get over that.