The first happn date I went on was back in March, and I specifically remember that it was an uncharacteristically nice day out which gave false hope for an early spring and a successful first date. This guy was 29, and despite the fact that his photos didn’t accurately display how disproportionately large his forehead was to the rest of his body, he looked very much as I expected he would. His look didn’t really fall into my typical dark and scruffy category, but I found him attractive enough to not immediately dismiss the potential of liking him within the first 90 seconds of the date. That said, it didn’t take too long to dismiss him for other reasons.
Problem #1: Inconvenience
To be clear, “inconvenience” as it relates to this date is different from how it relates to any previous dates I had gone on. No, it wasn’t a hassle for me to get there because it was basically on the route I take to go home from work anyways. And no, it wasn’t at some ridiculous hour of the night either. As far as logistics go, the date was not inconvenient. The inconvenience really stems more from dating in general and how it takes up time I don’t have enough of and forces me to consume more calories than I should on a weeknight. Going on dates is just an inconvenience that I’ve accepted; it is the prospect of eventually meeting someone that I mesh well with that keeps me from tacking the dating problem “inconvenient” onto every date I go on.
The reason this guy inconvenienced me was because shortly after we were seated and started talking, he told me that he’s moving to Dallas later that month.
Yeah, yeah, I get that he very likely was just trying to get a quick lay out of me. But he picked the wrong girl for that (ha, until maybe my next two happn dates…), and no way was he hot enough. So rather than enjoying this rare beautiful day and going to bed early, I was making conversation with a stranger I’d never see again. No thanks.
Problem #2: Work Obsessed
Like his first problem, he doesn’t quite fit into the dating problem category in the typical way either. You see, all of the “work obsessed” guys I’ve gone out with before can’t stop talking about their job and how much they love it. Not this guy. He couldn’t stand his job. Half the reason he was moving was to get away from his job and to get a new start and a new direction. Hey, I can admire that. But then he’d go back on the tangent of how much he couldn’t stand his job and career path in general. Fortunately, he avoided being Debbie Downer status because he had a hint of optimism about his future direction due to the upcoming move.
So all in all, was it a bad date? No, not at all. Compared to so many other dates, this guy was pretty normal, and we had decent conversation whenever he got off the topic of work. Did I see him again? No – he was moving to Dallas, remember? And I have 3 things to say to anyone thinking, “Aww, Picky Dater, if it wasn’t a bad date, then you should’ve given it another go! Long distance relationships can work!”:
- Just no.
- I’m the Picky Dater for a reason.
- He grinds. I spotted him on the dance floor at a bar about two weeks later grinding up hard on this girl. I don’t touch humans when I dance, and I certainly don’t grind.
It wouldn’t have worked out between us.