Because I’m a Grown-Ass Woman, That’s Why

(continued from part 1, here)

By the time we left the first bar, we were at least four drinks in and he was three dating problems deep. We were at the crossroads that any date comes to and begs the question: to continue on to another bar or part ways?

that is the question

I had two things to consider. 1) Did I see a future with him in terms of a relationship? Absolutely not. His personality was not attractive to me, and we just didn’t jive very well. Ok then, 2) did I see a future with him in my bed? Well, he wasn’t as attractive as I had hoped from head to toe, but from head to…neck, his scruffy look was getting better and better with every beer. So yes, I was beginning to see a possibility of him in my bed.

there's a possibility

I became more sure of my answer to the latter question after I learned how he is affected by tequila. Truthfully, I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but he ended up telling me that he gets very handsy and horny when he has tequila. So I figured if that’s all it was going to take, then why not? I’m a grown-ass woman, and I’ll do what I want!

i'm a grown woman

We went to another bar not too far from the first one, and we each ordered another beer. While he was in the bathroom, I ordered each of us a tequila shot.

i see what you did there

He wasn’t thrilled to take it seeing as it was only a Wednesday, but he wasn’t dumb. He saw where I was taking this.

I think we may have had one more drink after that = we were bombed. When we were leaving, I blatantly asked, “Ok, Uber back to my place or yours?” Turns out his CEO who travels a lot was sleeping on his couch (why he didn’t just get a hotel is beyond me), so I told him we were going back to my place.

are you ready for this

We got there, I chucked all the clothes on my bed into the closet, and we didn’t waste much time. I was a bit concerned that my condoms would be expired because it had just been that long – but don’t worry, they’re good for at least another year.

It was pretty good…except I was also really drunk so I suppose it was as decently good as it can be when you’re wasted. Even though he seemed to be just as drunk, he managed to finish before too long, which was perfect because I didn’t want this to be an all night thing. Then we put some clothes on, and I offered to get him an Uber back to his place. He got one himself, and he was out the door. Never saw him again. Done and done.

done and done


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