Random Reflections on 2018

Remember when I promised blog posts YEARS ago? And remember when I didn’t make even a draft for Random Reflections on 2017? Yeah… sorry…

Whatever. You’re getting one this year. Why? Because it’s New Years Day, I woke up with pizza in my hair, and I want to get sappy and sound wise, okay?


1) You can’t force someone else to change if they don’t really want to.

So remember that two-year guy? Well, he ended up becoming more like almost-three-year guy. He’s not who I’m talking about with trying to change someone, though, because I knew pretty early on that he wasn’t going to be changing. Instead, I’m talking about me being with him.

Literally every single person in my life told me that he wasn’t good for me and that he didn’t treat me nearly as well as a guy I was investing so much time and energy in should be. I knew they were correct. I even made multiple attempts to end things… but during each one of those times I was deep down still wanting him in my life. I liked liking someone, I liked the convenience, I liked that he was a friend when I needed him to be, and I liked our sex life. So despite how awfully some of his actions affected me, I kept going back.

Same thing goes with other people in my life. There have been relationships that I look at and have been like what the fuck are you doing!? but ultimately it doesn’t matter what I’ve said… I won’t be making up anyone’s minds for them. It’s gotta be from them. Same applies for things other than staying in/leaving relationships. If the person doesn’t completely want to make a change, then they won’t.

How’s that for a super obvious reflection?


2) Once you’re done… block the shit out of ’em.

Like I said, other people weren’t going to convince me to end things with this guy. It needed to be me, and he gave me all of the necessary ammo to finally just be done with it all. In short, history repeated itself for like the 38th time in October, and since then it’s been over. Like ACTUALLY over. Like blocked him on literally every form of anything you can think of kind of over. The mediums I blocked him on include but are not limited to:

  • Phone
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • SnapChat
  • Email
  • Spotify
  • ClassPass
  • Venmo


How’s it been working out? FUCKING FABULOUSLY. Basically the only way for him to insert himself back into my life would be for him to seek me out in person… and we’ve already had to be in social settings together since then, and I’ve just gone about my night as if he was invisible. Out of sight, out mind.

Moral of the story: if you keep trying to end things with someone but they keep coming back into your life (or you into theirs), then cut off every possible avenue for that to happen again. And keep it that way.

3) #NoRegrets

I think what’s been making this clean break so easy for me to get past is that I really don’t have any regrets about what we had. There was a lot about our relationship that I’ll always cherish, and the shitty things that happened all had their silver linings in one way or another. It’s pretty ideal because unlike when things ended with my ex, there are no “what if’s” and I have nothing that I feel needs to be discussed with him anymore. The negative emotions that had been hurting me so much over the last year are finally in the past, and now I’m at the point where I just don’t feel any feelings towards him at all – positive or negative.


Obviously this very basic hashtag extends itself to just about all other aspects of life, but I don’t think you need me explaining more examples. But YOLO, amirite?


4) I am Good Luck Chuck.

No joke, I am Good Luck Chuck. I have a growing list of now-married men who met their wife while or immediately after being with me. I also say I’m the Good Luck Chuck of roommates. All but one of my roommates over the past 8 years moved out to live with their significant other. My pitch should literally be, “Looking for a fast-track serious relationship? Have a boyfriend who won’t commit to the next step? Live with me, and you’ll be in a committed relationship and moving in with the guy before you know it!”

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m happy to announce that this almost-three-year guy is the most impressive name on my list now. If ever there was an anti-commitment relationship-phobe, he was it. And you guessed it, he is pursuing a full-blown dating/relationship with the girl who was the catalyst to things finally being over with us.


Well, that’s a wrap. Hopefully you’ll see some of these drafts published before I start reflecting on 2019.


Random Reflections on 2016

Sorry for all my bait-and-switch posts over the past, like, year. All year I’ve been talking up how amusing some of my encounters have been and how I’d be posting about them, aaaand now we are over halfway through 2017 and still nothing. I promise you the drafts are there and close to being done. But for one final tease – and because I’ve had this basically finished for months (no joke) – here is my annual (see 2014 and 2015) “Random Reflections” post.

Drumroll please…

1) Not having the ability to have feelings towards people leads to way more one night stands than prolonged hookups.

I kinda slept with a ton of people in 2016.  I’m completely fine with that, but considering the volume, I would have expected to have a lot more good sex. Now, in the defense of everyone, sometimes it takes more than just one go at it to have it be more mind-blowing. But, um. Do you know me? Right, I don’t have the willpower to continue anything with people I’m not into. If I’m actually into the person, then I’m way more willing to continue to hop in bed with him even if the first few attempts were less than satisfactory. But again, do you know me? I rarely like people, so this scenario very rarely plays out.

Take the flip side, though: if I’m not into someone but he was attractive enough that I slept with him and he rocked my body that first time, then, well, I won’t put up much of a fight to doing it again. I just will make it very clear it’s nothing more than a hookup because I will refuse to meet him anywhere except an apartment with a bed. If I’m just in it for the sex, then I don’t need to have drinks and try to force conversation with the guy; it’ll only ruin the mood for me. He just needs to tear my clothes off and keep doing his thing and that scenario will have me seeing him for more than a one night stand.

2) If you’re going to have one night stands, then might as well make the story good.

The best way to make a one night stand into a “good” story to tell later is for it to be just completely mind blowing sex. But lol. Rarely does that happen. Therefore, might as well make the story of what happened interesting, right?

I didn’t go into any of my one nighters with the expectation that they would be as, er, storytelling-worthy, but I definitely came out of 2016 with a hearty handful of them. I’ve mentioned a few of these as “posts to come” here, but looking back at my list of the year (yes, I have a list, whatever), there were quite a few interesting/unexplainable/bizarre/hot hookups that sadly may never make it to this blog for the sake of time and explicit content. Eh, there were also some that were just bad/mediocre and nothing else interesting about them, but I’d assume that’s to be expected.

3) Apparently I’m not picky about probably the only things I really should be picky about.

I just talked about how I had a lot of one nighters. Well, throughout pretty much the entire year, there was also one consistent guy. No, it wasn’t No Strings Attached guy – I actually only got with him one time in 2016; it was someone I haven’t made any mention of yet. I’m not going to get into the specifics of who it was for several reasons (who knows, maybe someday I’ll spill more beans about it), but my feelings were involved very early on.

Yep. And in the years since my last relationship (holy shit, it’s already been 6 full years?!), I can definitely say this is the most I’ve liked a guy since then.

Granted, the only two other guys who have pulled real feelings from me have been a guy who ditched me for someone else after just two months (update: they are getting married #goodluckchuck) and the guy from right after college who reappeared for a hot second two years later. So like, not much to compare this guy to. But there were real feelings involved, butterflies, insane attraction, you name it.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “If Picky hooked up with him all year, then everything must have been practically perfect.” Yeah, you’d think so, right?! As far as looks go, he definitely meets my picky criteria. Personality-wise, I’m really close with him, he’s absolutely awesome, and I never get sick of hanging out with him. And the sex: obviously that’s been good, otherwise this over a year and a half long hooking up thing probably wouldn’t continue to be going on nearly as long.

So… what else should I have been picky about? I mean, over the last 6 years, those have really been the only areas on which I’ve gotten far enough along to lay any judgement. Ha. Well. Apparently I let the most important things go by the wayside, such as how he treats me and whether or not he wants the same things with me as I want with him. You know, like the most basic pieces of a relationship.

The thing is, he doesn’t treat me badly at all; he just doesn’t treat me with any romantic affection, especially with others around. And that’s because he doesn’t want a relationship with me (or anyone, he claims).

I know, I know. You don’t need to tell me. Why in the world have I been sticking around with someone for so long who doesn’t match up with those most critical things?! I’d say I don’t know, but I do. For one, I’ve never been friends with someone before getting hookups or feelings involved. It definitely throws a wrench into the machine. I don’t want to remove him from my life altogether because of the friends aspect, he meets all other seemingly impossible (albeit shallow) criteria, and we both are attracted to each other and enjoy hooking up with one another. This recipe has never been presented to me before ever. I’m not going to get into it too much right now (sorry), but it’s resulted in a repeating cycle of pure happiness, frustration, heartbreak, and excitement.

You’re hot. I’m hot. This whole thing is hot. Let’s keep this goooooing!

Consistent sex? LOVE IT.

Uh… that was annoying. But whatever. It’s cool.

It’s just like. Idk.

Oh boy. I’m starting to not like this.

Noooo I hate feelings….

I’m like. Sad.

Poor poor me.

Boyyyy what you doing ain’t cool.

But like meh. I’m a cool girl. I’m past it.

Is that a gun in your pocket or you just happy to see me?

Uh huh. That’s right. You want me.

Cuz I like totally want you too so let’s keep this goooooing.

And around and around we go. Sounds super fun, huh? Blah. Well, we are still hooking up (just a few months shy of two years) so perhaps you’ll hear more about it as time goes on. It is 110% certain that a committed relationship won’t be happening, but as long as the happiness outweighs the negative feelings then I suppose I’ll keep staying the course.

Aaaaand that’s a wrap.  Hope you all missed me. Cuz I’m back.

Most Memorable Dates of 2016

I’m starting to think that neglecting this blog is garnering the same type of bad karma as ghosting someone, so apologies to ya’ll who still come back here only to have the same disappointment I have as when I lob a clever AF message to a guy on Bumble who never actually responds. So I’m back! And with plenty to share…

lets do this

As I mentioned in my last Dating Chronicles post, I had my first real no strings attached hookup buddy towards the end of 2015. Seeing as that was practically another lifetime ago, I’ll update you now and tell ya that we hooked up once more in 2016, but he did not make this list since that’s just old news now.

The fun news is that there were a handful of dates and a ton of hookups that occurred in 2016 so those who made the list should truly be… proud?  The not-so-fun news is that since there is no chance I’ll have the time to share all of the stories that exist, this is all you are going to get for Picky’s whirlwind of 2016.  But I’m hoping what I do share will at least be amusing enough to kind of make up for lost time.

Soooo… not all of these have actually been written yet – but I promise there have been drafts created for months!  So in the meantime, I’m going to give you a preview of each, and you will have to stay tuned for the full version.

So here we go!

Fifth Place: My Personal Trainer

Looking back, I should’ve known he was into me by how much he enjoyed stretching me.  Sure enough, the second he quit the gym was the second he asked me out.


Fourth Place: My Uber Driver (read: A Whole New Meaning for Ride Sharing)

Turns out leaving a comment for your Uber driver is a great way to get asked out on a date.


Third Place: The Dirty-Talking French Lover

He was really into how much I reciprocated the dirty talk.  Until I said no.

that means no

Second Place: My Hawaiian Conquest in the Irish Castle

We started hooking up under the stars and ended in a 600-year-old castle in Ireland.


First Place: The Guy Who Just Couldn’t Deliver (read: Ten Inches of Disappointment)

Honestly, if you are going to talk the talk, then you better be able to walk the walk.

walk the talk

I’m going to try to get these published before the next millennium, but in the meantime I’ll also be publishing another annual Reflections post.  Stay tuned.