Most Memorable Dates of 2016

I’m starting to think that neglecting this blog is garnering the same type of bad karma as ghosting someone, so apologies to ya’ll who still come back here only to have the same disappointment I have as when I lob a clever AF message to a guy on Bumble who never actually responds. So I’m back! And with plenty to share…

lets do this

As I mentioned in my last Dating Chronicles post, I had my first real no strings attached hookup buddy towards the end of 2015. Seeing as that was practically another lifetime ago, I’ll update you now and tell ya that we hooked up once more in 2016, but he did not make this list since that’s just old news now.

The fun news is that there were a handful of dates and a ton of hookups that occurred in 2016 so those who made the list should truly be… proud?  The not-so-fun news is that since there is no chance I’ll have the time to share all of the stories that exist, this is all you are going to get for Picky’s whirlwind of 2016.  But I’m hoping what I do share will at least be amusing enough to kind of make up for lost time.

Soooo… not all of these have actually been written yet – but I promise there have been drafts created for months!  So in the meantime, I’m going to give you a preview of each, and you will have to stay tuned for the full version.

So here we go!

Fifth Place: My Personal Trainer

Looking back, I should’ve known he was into me by how much he enjoyed stretching me.  Sure enough, the second he quit the gym was the second he asked me out.

trainer

Fourth Place: My Uber Driver (read: A Whole New Meaning for Ride Sharing)

Turns out leaving a comment for your Uber driver is a great way to get asked out on a date.

uber

Third Place: The Dirty-Talking French Lover

He was really into how much I reciprocated the dirty talk.  Until I said no.

that means no

Second Place: My Hawaiian Conquest in the Irish Castle

We started hooking up under the stars and ended in a 600-year-old castle in Ireland.

magical

First Place: The Guy Who Just Couldn’t Deliver (read: Ten Inches of Disappointment)

Honestly, if you are going to talk the talk, then you better be able to walk the walk.

walk the talk

I’m going to try to get these published before the next millennium, but in the meantime I’ll also be publishing another annual Reflections post.  Stay tuned.

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Huge Announcement!

engaged

HA!  Completely kidding.  Still single AF.

Don’t worry, though, because this is way more exciting news anyways!  Not only am I finally making more time to finish more posts about some pretty noteworthy dates over the last year, but you all are going to get to enjoy the fantastically amusing dating life of my girl… well, let’s just call her Perpetually Picky.

So buckle up, kids!  You’re in for a treat.

spectacular

December 2017 Update:

giphy (2)

Pulled another fast one on you.  Turns out Perpetually Picky won’t be joining us.  BUT… several of her tales are definitely worthy of #Thursdate so you might be seeing some appear there. But, yeah, sorry if I got your hopes up.

Random Reflections on 2015

Ahh, the year of no feelings. Not a single guy came my way in 2015 who managed to make my heart skip a beat, and so you’ll notice that compared to last year, there are way fewer reflections and just about all of them are pretty shallow. Buuuut hey, what’s wrong with that?

1) I don’t really consider the “First Date Check Problem” to be a problem anymore.

Starting in 2015, I finally started to just really insist on splitting the check on the first date.  Why?  Because then I feel less of an obligation to talk to them again after the date ends.  When you aren’t into almost everyone you go out with, there are just too many people to let down, yano?  It’s a tough life being picky.

lol bye

2) Sex without attachment is possible and not something I should be ashamed about.

Who says guys are the only ones capable of this?  I’ve had my fair share of long dry spells – which is also nothing to be ashamed about – but if I want to have sexy time with someone and never talk to them again, then all the more power to me.  Or if I only talk to them when I want to do it again, then that’s fucking fantastic too.

xtina aguilera

3) I drink a lot.

I mean, I already knew this.  But in case you didn’t, then just go back and reread my 2015 dating chronicles and it’s pretty easy to pick up on.

notfunsober