Today’s #Thursdate is from one of my readers in Boston… and it’s pretty impressive. The date lasted only one drink, and this guy managed to pack in more problems than most guys display over the course of multiple dates.
The two connected through Coffee Meets Bagel. Although he seemed a bit pretentious based on some of his profile responses and his pictures were a bit blurry, they still scheduled a date to meet after work at a bar. And to properly set the scene, it was a decently nice bar in the Financial District where apparently pretty much everyone shows up in suits or at least some form of business casual clothing.
Problem #1: WTF Are You Wearing
Boston girl arrived at the bar, which was full of professionally dressed men and women. A few minutes after she got situated, Boston Hater came waltzing in wearing baggy mesh shorts, a t-shirt, knee-high socks, basketball shoes, and disheveled hair. It looked like he had just come from the gym or a re-creation of Aaron Carter’s “That’s How I Beat Shaq” video…but he hadn’t. So either this guy is the perfect example of why Queer Eye for the Straight Guy needs to be back on the air, or he was planning to go workout right after the date = he has no patience or respect for his date. All in all, things were headed downhill before they even greeted each other.
Problem #2: Kinda Catfish
Considering this guy’s profile pictures were blurry, I can only imagine how unenthused Boston Girl was to get a close-up of him after having the misfortune of seeing his outfit. The good news is that he wasn’t horrible looking and that the fuzzy images he provided weren’t entirely different from how he looked in person. Buuuut like most guys online, he lied on his height. Boston Girl was in heels and based on the height he provided, that shouldn’t have been a problem. So when they were finally face-to-face, he lost some major points for being barely eye-to-eye with her.
Problem #3: Judge Judy
The two started talking the usual small talk, which of course includes “where are you from/where did you grow up?” Boston Hater was from Philadelphia (now living in Boston), and Boston Girl was from Boston (born and raised). This smooth talker really nailed it with the things he said next:
- “Boston girls are the worst. They think they are so hot.”
- “Boston girls all think they are such hot shit.”
- “If I’m at a bar, I am always trying to be a gentleman, but then I will see a Boston girl across the bar thinking she is all that. So I just go up to girls like that and say, ‘you’re not as hot as you think you are’ and walk away.”
Really strange way to direct the conversation seeing as our gal literally just told him that she was, in fact, a Boston girl (not to mention, who the hell randomly goes up to girls and says something like that?!). It was so bizarre that she interjected shortly after he started his rant and talked about how her family still lives in Boston, how she is still great friends with the girls she grew up with in Boston, how she went to school in Boston. Basically, she wanted to make sure that he she made it clear that
the defendant was in the shower she was from Boston and the group of people he was shitting on included the girl sitting next to him at the bar. His response? “Oh, well you’re not one of them.” Ha, great recovery, dickhead.
Problem #4: Pompous
Unlike the depiction of his height in photos, the pretentiousness that shined through on his profile was actually a great indicator for what he was like in person. After he rambled on and on about how he was better than every female in Massachusetts, the conversation shifted to online dating. Boston Hater admitted that this was his first online date…but the only reason for that was because the Coffee Meets Bagel app was broken. Wait, huh? Yep, he explained how Boston Girl was the only match he had gotten so far, which obviously meant that the app wasn’t functioning correctly. Earth to Matilda: it’s not the app.
At that point, she had had enough of this delusional guy and said she had to go once she finished her first drink. She told him “Good luck in Boston!” and expected (and hoped) to never hear from him again. Funny thing is that he actually thought the date went well and he reached out for a second date. NOPE.
Good news, though: Boston Girl did eventually find love through Coffee Meets Bagel! She told me how she and her now-boyfriend were matched through the app and have been together for about a year 🙂 Cheers to love on the East Coast!