Adrian Grenier’s Doppelgänger

To finally close the loop on the dates I listed in a post I made near the end of October, here is my update on the Adrian Grenier lookalike.

adrian grenier lookalike

If you remember that post, then you’ll recall that we were about to go out on our third date. Spoiler alert: that was my last date with him. I’ll indulge you on our short-lived, almost-but-not-really-close-at-all romance; however, I’ll also admit upfront that there’s no crazy or hilarious stories. This is just another one of your classic Picky Dater apathetic/asexual dating tales.

Date #1: No Problems, but No Butterflies
The first date went well in that he didn’t give me any reasons to NOT go out with him again. He looked like his pictures, he overestimated his height by only two inches max, and we had plenty to talk about. He was also such a gentleman with the tab: he paid for everything even though he had gone well out of his way (in the pouring rain!) to meet at a bar that was convenient for me. We even kissed goodbye, and it was actually the most natural and not awkward first kiss I’ve had in a while. Despite all this, I just didn’t feel those butterflies that seem to be necessary for me to get excited for a second date. Here’s how I explained it to one of my close friends:

adriantext1

Pretty apathetic, huh? Well, if you keep up with me, then you know the reason I agreed to a second date is all thanks to this guy.

Date #2: Good but Not Great
The place he suggested for our second date was no more than three minutes walking from my apartment, and so it was convenient enough to lock me into next plans. It was pretty much a repeat of our first date in that (once again) he gave me no reasons to NOT go out with him again. He was interesting, smart, and hardworking. I insisted on paying for everything, which he did let me do (to be clear: I wanted to pay for it, so I’m not knocking him for this).  We kissed goodbye again, and it was definitely a great second kiss. But for whatever reason, my feelings for him were still very blahhh.

adriantext2

Date 3: Drinks on Drinks on Drinks
For the third date, I finally went to his neck of the woods. Because I was coming from the gym, I was a total bag lady and asked if I could leave my workout stuff at his place (we were meeting at his apartment anyways, so it didn’t involve any change in plans). I did that, and we went to a Mexican place a few blocks away. Thankfully he was absolutely nothing like the picky eater, and so I was able to enjoy some pretty decent guac and this coconut chicken and salsa entrée (not exactly sure what it was, but it was pretty great). After that – and a few margs – we went to a bar a few doors down. Three or four more drinks later, we were walking back to his place, making out along the sidewalk every few minutes like two teenagers who can’t makeout at home because they still live with their parents. Once at his apartment, we made out, played darts, made out some more, and he tried to convince me to stay the night.  It was semi-tempting but my desire to do that was trumped by how much I didn’t want to deal with waking up early enough to get back to my apartment and still get to work on time. So that was the end of that date.

adriantext3

The Almost Next Dates
Since I was out of town that weekend and he was in California for work the entire week after that, we set loose plans for the following week.  By the time that came around, I wasn’t feeling too up for it, but I figured since I hadn’t had sex in months I’d just go on this date, stay the night with him, and maybe that would make me like him more – or, at the very least I would get laid. But when it came down to the day of our date, I still wasn’t looking forward to it enough. Add that to the fact that I had a horrible headache, and so I just called him and told him I wasn’t feeling well and we’d have to take a rain check.

adriantweet1

After I bailed on date #4, I suggested that we try to meet up while we were out on Friday. But when Friday came around, I just didn’t feel like having him join me and my friends… plus my friend’s attractive co-worker was out with us soooo that had my attention more than the Adrian doppelgänger did.  I ended up putting my phone on airplane mode so his calls and texts wouldn’t go through and so that he did not necessarily think I was ignoring him. (Yes, I recognize that that was a completely pathetic tactic.) Once I was home and off airplane mode, I saw that he had texted me. I never ended up texting him back.

ignore it go away

About a month and a half later, I ran into a friend that I knew had run track with this guy back in college. I mentioned how we had gone on a few dates and also made sure I said nothing but good things about him (which wasn’t hard since it’s not like I had anything really bad to say). The next day the Entourage lookalike texted me. After a little small talk, it led to this:

adriantext 4

Although I used to be all about the fade away, lately I do make a point to let the guys know and offer some sort of explanation.  But for whatever reason, I just didn’t do it with this guy, and so I was happy I got a second chance to put a close to it. He didn’t respond, but I didn’t expect him to. And yeah… that was that. I told you it wasn’t a very exciting story.

So after all of that, I think it just became that much more obvious that it’s really difficult to force yourself to like someone, especially in an online dating situation. I kept going on more dates with this guy because I didn’t not like him, not because I did actually like him. Had we gotten to know each other through a more organic situation such as meeting and hanging out through friends… then who knows? But it’s a lot tougher when every scenario that you meet up is a bonafide date.  That’s my schpeel.

Ron Swanson Not Interested

And if ya’ll are interested, here’s a podcast that I really liked on the subject of having (or not having) butterflies: Dating Butterflies: Are They Necessary?

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Serial Dating in Cuffing Season

It might just be coincidence, but I’m beginning to notice a pattern where my interest level in dating seems to change with the seasons.  Just around the time when the weather was becoming somewhat tolerable, I stopped dating.   Now that the weather is getting shitty out, I’m not only dating again…but I’m dating a lot.  Apparently this is “cuffing season” and apparently I am giving into it. Within the last two weeks, I’ve been on six dates:

  1. 10/16 – Date with the Hinge guy who looks like Adrian Grenier
  2. 10/20 – Date with the touchy guy who chased me into the subway for a kiss
  3. 10/21 (5:30pm) – Date with the moccasin-wearing admirer of sidewalks
  4. 10/21 (6:45pm) – Date with the pickiest eater alive
  5. 10/22 – Second date with the Hinge guy
  6. TONIGHT – Third date (!!!!) with the Adrian Grenier doppelgänger

Expect some upcoming posts about each of these guys… with the exception of the one I’m still dating because obvi he hasn’t had too many dating issues since I’m still agreeing to go out with him (and because it would kind of suck if I started to actually really like him and then he found a judgmental post I’d written about him for all of the internet world to see).  But hey, tonight could end up being a total disaster, in which case, there will absolutely be a post up about him in the near future!  Oh this dating thing sure can be fun…. evil laugh

The Land Down Under

I have a LOT of catching up to do. Before I can begin the saga of my most recent attempts at a rekindled relationship, there are some past dates that occurred before my original hiatus from dating that deserve their well-earned post in my blog…

In early April, I connected with an Australian through OKCupid. We went on three dates in total, and to be honest, the first two dates were really good! He looked like his pictures, he was interesting, and he had a great accent. Unfortunately, by date three, I still wasn’t feeling it as much as I would have liked to by that point, but I still wanted to give him another shot to see if maybe something would develop. This is how he failed:

Problem #1: TMI

Third date in, he gave me a full run-down of the trials and tribulations of his very long-term (now ex-)girlfriend that he had while living in Australia – which, might I add, was less than a year prior to me hanging out with him. He told me how she was the love of his life, how they were living together, how he planned to marry her, how they were there for each other through thick and thin, and how she eventually ended up cheating on him and ended things suddenly. Look, I get it, we all have a past, and it’s not that I never want to hear things like that, but the level of detail in which he explained the rise and fall of this relationship was a bit too much for a third meet-up. He then proceeded to tell me about how he used to have cancer and the story surrounding his diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. It truly made my heart bleed for him, and I felt honored that he was comfortable enough to share such a personal story with me. Nevertheless, I had barely begun drinking my second beer by the time he finished putting it all out there.

oversharing makes me uncomfortable

Problem #2: Bad Kisser

After a few drinks at the bar, we headed back to the neighborhood where we both lived. I was thinking of just going home, but because making out with the guy who didn’t drink boosted my level of interest in him at the time, I figured I’d get myself a little more lip action than just the goodbye kiss. I invited myself over to his place (obviously he gave no pushback), and it didn’t take long for us to start making out on his couch. When he first whipped out the lower lip move, I was pleasantly pleased that he had some skill. But then he kept doing it. Every. Single. Time. Also, it’s not like he was sucking on my bottom lip with each kiss; he was using teeth. I kid you not, the skin on the inside of my lip started wearing thin.

lower lip kiss

Problem #3: Bedroom Embarrassment

I was straddling him as we were making out, and usually this helps give me an indication of the situation down under. It was pretty concerning when I wasn’t able to even get the slightest sense of what he was packing because I literally felt nothing. I started to convince myself that maybe it was just the thick material of our jeans (weak excuse, I know). So partially due to curiosity at this point and partially due to the fact that this was the only real action I had gotten in about 5+ months, I just went for it and took off his jeans to get a first-hand assessment of the situation. The result? Let’s just say that there was a reason I hadn’t felt anything while sitting on top of him, and it wasn’t because of the jeans. (While size could be it’s own “problem” category, I won’t go there.). Now to recap the scene: he’s there with his pants off and there’s absolutely no way I’m taking mine off…so I graciously decided to give the poor fellow head. His size made it easy, and it only took 90 seconds tops to get him off. What was the problem, then? As he came, he started to scream, no, WAIL like a wild banshee. I have never heard anything like it come from any human being in my entire life. He wailed for at least 15 seconds before grabbing a pillow and screaming into that. He then proceeded to tell me over and over, “OMG THAT WAS THE BEST I EVER HAD. THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD EVER!” He wouldn’t stop freaking out about it, which was pathetic because it lasted less than two minutes and took zero skill on my part to make it happen. I seriously ended up insisting that he stop yelling about it, and I even said that I hoped he was lying because I felt bad for him if that truly was the best he’d ever had.

screaming yes

After my plan to try to like him more by making out with him backfired, I knew it was time to cut it off, which I did later that week.  He was a great guy, and I can only hope that since that night he’s learned to cool it.  Poor guy… but I deserve some pity too because I haven’t been able to completely forget the horror of his piercing screams.

embarrassed