#Thursdate with Boston Girl & Boston Hater

Today’s #Thursdate is from one of my readers in Boston… and it’s pretty impressive. The date lasted only one drink, and this guy managed to pack in more problems than most guys display over the course of multiple dates.

Pre-Date

The two connected through Coffee Meets Bagel. Although he seemed a bit pretentious based on some of his profile responses and his pictures were a bit blurry, they still scheduled a date to meet after work at a bar. And to properly set the scene, it was a decently nice bar in the Financial District where apparently pretty much everyone shows up in suits or at least some form of business casual clothing.

Problem #1: WTF Are You Wearing

Boston girl arrived at the bar, which was full of professionally dressed men and women.  A few minutes after she got situated, Boston Hater came waltzing in wearing baggy mesh shorts, a t-shirt, knee-high socks, basketball shoes, and disheveled hair.  It looked like he had just come from the gym or a re-creation of Aaron Carter’s “That’s How I Beat Shaq” video…but he hadn’t.  So either this guy is the perfect example of why Queer Eye for the Straight Guy needs to be back on the air, or he was planning to go workout right after the date = he has no patience or respect for his date.  All in all, things were headed downhill before they even greeted each other.

bball outfit

Problem #2: Kinda Catfish

Considering this guy’s profile pictures were blurry, I can only imagine how unenthused Boston Girl was to get a close-up of him after having the misfortune of seeing his outfit.  The good news is that he wasn’t horrible looking and that the fuzzy images he provided weren’t entirely different from how he looked in person.  Buuuut like most guys online, he lied on his height.  Boston Girl was in heels and based on the height he provided, that shouldn’t have been a problem.  So when they were finally face-to-face, he lost some major points for being barely eye-to-eye with her.

youre tall

Problem #3: Judge Judy

The two started talking the usual small talk, which of course includes “where are you from/where did you grow up?”  Boston Hater was from Philadelphia (now living in Boston), and Boston Girl was from Boston (born and raised).  This smooth talker really nailed it with the things he said next:

  • “Boston girls are the worst.  They think they are so hot.”
  • “Boston girls all think they are such hot shit.”
  • “If I’m at a bar, I am always trying to be a gentleman, but then I will see a Boston girl across the bar thinking she is all that.  So I just go up to girls like that and say, ‘you’re not as hot as you think you are’ and walk away.”

Really strange way to direct the conversation seeing as our gal literally just told him that she was, in fact, a Boston girl (not to mention, who the hell randomly goes up to girls and says something like that?!).  It was so bizarre that she interjected shortly after he started his rant and talked about how her family still lives in Boston, how she is still great friends with the girls she grew up with in Boston, how she went to school in Boston.  Basically, she wanted to make sure that he she made it clear that the defendant was in the shower she was from Boston and the group of people he was shitting on included the girl sitting next to him at the bar.  His response?  “Oh, well you’re not one of them.”  Ha, great recovery, dickhead.

shut up

Problem #4: Pompous

Unlike the depiction of his height in photos, the pretentiousness that shined through on his profile was actually a great indicator for what he was like in person.  After he rambled on and on about how he was better than every female in Massachusetts, the conversation shifted to online dating.  Boston Hater admitted that this was his first online date…but the only reason for that was because the Coffee Meets Bagel app was broken.  Wait, huh?  Yep, he explained how Boston Girl was the only match he had gotten so far, which obviously meant that the app wasn’t functioning correctly.  Earth to Matilda: it’s not the app.

nobody likes you

At that point, she had had enough of this delusional guy and said she had to go once she finished her first drink.  She told him “Good luck in Boston!” and expected (and hoped) to never hear from him again.  Funny thing is that he actually thought the date went well and he reached out for a second date.  NOPE.

Good news, though: Boston Girl did eventually find love through Coffee Meets Bagel!  She told me how she and her now-boyfriend were matched through the app and have been together for about a year 🙂  Cheers to love on the East Coast!

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Expanding My Horizons to the Online Dating World

It was about two winters ago that I suddenly realized it had been over a year since my last relationship, and I had not been on one date. This didn’t bother me since I was happy with my life and didn’t feel a need to be with someone. Still, I thought it was time I get back into the game and try to meet someone. The biggest question was how.

Online dating Tinder was introduced to me. First it was more of an amusing app that let you waste time just judging people, but it got interesting once the messages started. If you know anything about the people on Tinder, then you know that many of them make you want to lock your doors and run for the hills rather than meet up and actually get to know them better. However, there was one guy who seemed normal and didn’t actually lead with something like “spit or swallow?” We got to talking and decided to meet up for a date.

At this point (December 2012), my pickiness had not yet fully evolved, so he had it easy compared to guys today. He was scruffy, was able to make normal conversation over text, and was in med school. Check, check, and check. Here is how it went down, one issue at a time…

Problem #1: Inconvenience
If you are going to insist on picking a girl up, then you should probably make sure you know how to parallel park first. He said he “couldn’t fit” into the spots we found near the bar and ended up parking a good ten minutes from the bar. Mind you, it was winter, so the date was already off to a bitter start.

parallel parking

Problem #2: WTF Are You Wearing
Don’t get me wrong; I think scrubs are great because doctors are great. But blue pajamas have no place in a bar. Oh yeah, and this guy was still wearing his stethoscope around his neck. I didn’t show up at the bar with my sales phone headset on my head, and so please leave all syringes and other medical tools at work…or at least in the car.

throwing headset

Problem #3: Male-on-Male Tendencies
This guy was into boxing. Really into boxing. He told me everything from his entire timeline of playing the sport to the full history of boxing in the Olympics. That is all fine and good, but the next part is what threw me. He said that when he and his buddies go out and get drunk, they usually end up back at his apartment, shirts off, wrestling each other and rolling around all over the place together. If being naked with other dudes is something a guy is into, then I am totally cool with that!  However, I am not so thrilled if that is a favorite pastime of a guy who is on a date with me.  I know I am picky, but I don’t think that’s something any girl would want to learn on a first date.

slap fight

And like almost most guys I go on first dates with… Problem #4: Juan Pablo Syndrome
Guys, sorry to break it to you, but you are not the most interesting man in the world. Even if you are, it is at least common courtesy to ask the girl about herself too, no matter how insignificant you may think any response is compared to yours. Maybe you aren’t a good conversationalist, maybe English is your second language, or maybe you aren’t good at asking questions. Well, I am in sales, so I usually ask most of the questions anyways. I make it easy for you to just murmur “y tú?” after your response. When all you say is “it’s okayyyyy” or just completely disregard the fact that I may have thoughts of my own, well, I don’t like dat. So with Tinder boy, I left the date knowing all about his pursuit towards a medical degree, about every boxing match he had in college, and about his naked fights with friends. He left the date knowing maybe a few quick facts about me.

dos equis man

Two days later, he asked me on a second date. I swiped left.